Ben Franklin Mob H3

(This is a long form song except no one knows it so you can't call on people. Each verse alternates with the chorus.)

Aboard the good ship Venus,
By God, you should have seen us,
The figurehead, a whore in bed,
The mast, a throbbing penis.

(Chorus:)
(There was) friggin' in the riggin',
Wankin' on the plankin',
Masturbatin' on the gratin',
There was fuck all else to do.

(Additional verses:)

The first mate's name was Paul,
He only had one ball,
But with that cracker he rolled terbaccer
Around the cabin wall.

The second mate's name was Andy,
His dick was long and bandy,
They filled his ass with molten brass
For pissing in the brandy.

The third mate's name was Morgan,
He was a grisly Gorgon,
Three times a day he strummed away
Upon his sexual organ.

The cox'n's name was Slugger,
He was a dirty bugger,
He wasn't fit to shovel shit
On any bugger's lugger.

A cook whose name was Freeman,
He was a dirty demon,
He fed the crew on menstrual stew
And hymens fried in semen.

Another cook was O'Malley,
He didn't dilly-dally,
He shot his bolt with such a jolt
He whitewashed half the galley.

The bosun's name was Lester,
He was a hymen tester,
Through hymens thick he shoved his dick
And left it there to fester.

The engineer was McTavish,
And young girls he did ravish,
His missing prick's in Istanbul,
He was a little lavish.

The engineer's mate was Carter,
By God, he was a farter,
When the wind wouldn't blow and the ship wouldn't go,
We'd get Carter the farter to start 'er.

Another one was Cropper,
Oh Christ, he had a whopper,
Twice round the deck, once round his neck,
And up his bum for a stopper.

The ship's dog's name was Rover,
The whole crew did him over,
They ground and ground the wretched hound
From Lisbon to the Indies.